This website is an excercise in narcissism.

Why, you ask?

Because this is the fucking internet, and anyone with a few megs of webspace can become self-proclaimed gods on the INTARWEB should they choose to do so.

Personally, I consider it a far more legal and frugal alternative to world domination. I still get all the ego-masturbation I can possibly stand, but without all the messy “ruling small island nations with an iron fist” business that many egomaniacs go through in the nascent days of their endless quest for attention.

Because that’s all that people who try to take over the world REALLY are…

Attention whores.

ALL OF THEM.

Including me.

Hey, at least I’m honest.

[Humor] Equality in the Dirty Clergy

Today, I would like to discuss something that I find deeply disturbing.

We’ve all heard about “Pedophile Priests” ad nauseam, right? Pedophilia is rampant among the clergy, apparently, and parents/religious groups/other assholes everywhere are completely up in arms about the whole bit.

Why no Pedophile Nuns?

…Something I just thought of… Why are people so focused on pedophiles in the church? I mean, yes, it’s a little scary because so many people put these men in a position of authority, respect, and trust (which I honestly think is a highly questionable practice to begin with), but pedophilia is everywhere. Why not pedophile… Policemen? Teachers? Cub Scout Leaders? Why the focus on the church? Is there really such a concentration of pedophiles there that doesn’t exist anywhere else, or are many of these claims false, or did the padres just think they could get away with it and end up being horrifically wrong?

And another thing - Parents, why do you trust your children with these people so deeply, and put them on such a pedestal that when they hurt your children, the poor kids think there’s something terribly wrong with them and that they’ll burn in hell forever if they ever talk? How can you trust another human, just as flawed as you and I, to act with the “light of Christ” at all times? Do you trust babysitters this way? Teachers? Other people in positions of authority over your child? Not as much as you trust your beloved clergy, I can almost guarantee.

So ask yourself this: Should your devotion to your church really supercede your devotion to your child? You are not responsible for the well-being of your church. You ARE responsible for the well-being of your child. Just because a man has gone to school to study theology and claims to have devoted his life to his religion does not make him perfect or infallible or even an appropriate role model. He is not automatically immune to the human condition. I wish that being a parent required people to actually understand the concept of “parenting.”

Anyway, I digress. The original purpose of this rant was to ask the following question:

Why no pedophile nuns?

I mean, come on, I’d like to see some gender equality here.

I did a cursory Google search and found nothing on any accusations of pedophilia towards nuns. I have a few theories about this:

01. Women who join a convent are probably frigid bitches or lesbians anyway.
02. Related to number 01, sexually deviant nuns must be lesbians instead of pedophiles and get their jollies with one another.
03. There ARE pedophile nuns, but they disguise their deviancy with a semi-socially-acceptable practice known as “Corporal Punishment” (because nuns are kinky bitches, right?).
04. Nuns just don’t have the access to the children that the priests do.
05. Their love for Christ suffices (See Type O Negative - Christian Woman).
06. Women are merely inherently subtler in their pedophilia.

Think about it. With all the “naughty nun” costumes out there, you know that there has to be a nice percentage of these women that are just as sexually deviant as the aforementioned priests. Perhaps it’s just that their weaknesses lie elsewhere. I think that while priests may be predisposed to pedophilia, nuns probably lean more towards the realm of BDSM. Just a thought.

Major Steps, eh?

Kinda freaks me out, but I’ve been thinking about marriage a lot lately. Maybe it’s because we’re but a mere week away from our 1 yr anniversary, maybe it’s because I’m really actually getting ready to settle down… I don’t know. Maybe he’s the one? It’s a thought that makes me happy and yet nervous, all at the same time. I don’t feel like a grown-up at all, and only grown-ups get that wild hair up their asses and run off and get married.

A couple months ago, he bought me a ring (partially due to my constant prodding to that end, but he says he really means it, too). It’s not an engagement ring or anything like that, but I wear it on my left ring finger, and we kind of view it as a symbol of our commitment to shoot for that whole “forever” thing. A couple days ago, I bought a ring intended with similar meaning for him.

I accidentally ordered the wrong size, but the company is taking care of it all and is shipping out the right size today. I’m really looking forward to giving it to him, but I kinda want to wait to do it officially until our anniversary, since it’s not even a week away now. I dunno. Something. The fact that I’m emotionally ready to take that step towards that kind of commitment and feel nothing but happiness and love is making me kinda tweaky. (That’s gross, I know, way too much sweetness here. Angel farts, puppy kisses, etc.)

I know I’m not ready for marriage just yet. I’m still too whiny, too suspicious and jealous sometimes, too manipulative. I know he’s not ready either - he has his own stuff he needs to work out before we get to that point too.

I keep thinking about that dream I had… Where I’m climbing these stairs, and this woman is running back down them in a wedding dress, looking all happy - and she’s ME - and she says “We’re not so different, you and I.”

Maybe I’m more ready than I think I am, you know?

I’m kind of expecting this to become a legal thing in the next few years, though I’m horribly afraid that I’ve now jinxed it by saying that. Who knows - 6 months from now, I could be sitting at my computer, reading this journal entry while crying and eating out of a gallon tub of ice cream in my underwear and burning pictures and various items that remind me of him.

I’m so optimistic. ^_^

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes…

Boy, things sure have changed since I started making webpages back in ‘97. This stuff is a lot more complicated than I remember it being. I’m having a hard time deciding how I’m going to organize and display all the frivolous content I want to have in this blog-style setting. Steve says I can use the bloggyness for any and all updates I want to make to the site, but I’m not exactly certain how that’s going to work. I don’t really want one huge rolling blog with subsections, you know? It’s not what I was picturing in my mind.

I was picturing maybe a couple blog sections, for the site updates and my journal, and the other pages to be kinda like.. static pages, you know? I don’t want to keep making “posts” to such a degree that eventually the things I posted on those pages first rolls off the bottom and is lost in the archives that nobody will ever read.

I’ve never really been good at making personal sites, and I sort of don’t see the point - who goes to personal sites? I mean, really. You have to have something super-exciting and cool for anyone to ever be interested in reading your personal site.

…Maybe I should become a camgirl…?

…..Nah. :P

Anyway, narcissism to be uploaded soon. Pictures, audio, etc. Along with my myriad lists that I like making. Not entirely certain where I’ll put those or how it’ll work, but I’ll figure it out sooner or later.

I think.

Waiting, yo.

In case you haven’t noticed, this site isn’t, like, ACTUALLY active yet. The posts that are here are mostly filler to make sure that the design templates function as expected. So don’t bitch at me for not updating. :P

[Politics] How can I be anything but angry and afraid?

Ever since 11 September 2001, I am afraid.

I fear for the life, safety, and wellbeing of myself and my countrymen.

I’m not afraid of terrorists or Iraq, I’m not afraid of any real or imagined chemical or biological threat from without our nation.

I’m afraid of my government.

I am afraid every day that I live in George W Bush’s “America”.

One by one, I am watching the freedoms and liberties I have taken for granted all my life slip through the cracks because the goverment and the American mass media has convinced Joe Q Public that it’s necessary for safety and security.

Tonight, I spent quite a long time poring over names and faces of coalition soldiers who have died in this conflict, reading their storied, and hoping against hope that I didn’t find a familiar face.

One soldier in particular, hailing from the Ukraine, was listed as having committed suicide in Iraq.

Those of you who know me know my stance on suicide and know why it is as such, but in all honesty, I don’t blame this guy. Not a whit.

The Constitution of this coutry states “We the People.” When was the power taken away from We the People? When did this happen? Why am I paying more taxes, percentage-wise, than the management in the soulless corporations who run this country from the shadows, polluting our environment, taking a big dump all over employee rights, and then shipping our jobs overseas? Why don’t I have a say in where my tax money goes? Why can’t I refuse to pay taxes when I know my contribution of a few thousand dollars will just go towards a military vehicle of some sort for some of America’s finest to die in? Perhaps I’m paying for a coffin or two to bring what pieces are left of my brothers and sisters home from the war.

Perhaps some of my tax dollars are paying for Ariel Sharon’s White House catered Starbucks latte that he sips while thinking of ways to asassinate Yasser Arafat and plunge the whole region into a river of blood.

Wouldn’t that just be poetic.